Program / Course 3: The Rule of Life / Lesson 5.3
What you will learn
- List the elements of genuine repentance that all traditions affirm.
- State what each tradition says about forgiveness when no minister is available.
- Carry out a sincere prayer of confession and make amends where possible.
- Choose a trusted person for confession with proper care, and know the limits of that confidence.
The big idea
A person who has no priest or pastor within reach can still repent. All traditions agree that repentance involves seeing the wrong, sorrow, turning away, asking God’s forgiveness and, where possible, making amends. Protestants teach that this is complete forgiveness in Christ. Catholics teach that perfect contrition can obtain forgiveness even before sacramental confession, provided the person intends to confess when possible. The Orthodox hold that repentance is always open but look to the priest as the normal path. A trusted friend can give counsel but not absolution.
Key terms
- Repentance
- A turning around: recognizing wrongdoing, being sorry and changing direction. The Greek word metanoia means a change of mind.
- Perfect contrition
- In Catholic teaching, sorrow for sin that arises from love of God above all, as opposed to fear of punishment.
- Restitution
- Making right what was wronged, by returning what was taken or repairing harm.
- Amends
- An effort to repair a relationship or harm, including apology and changed behavior.
- Confidant
- A person who is trusted with private matters.
- Mandatory reporting
- A legal duty, in some places and professions, to report abuse or certain harm to authorities.
Background
The Bible shows many prayers of repentance said without a priest. David prays Psalm 51 after Nathan confronts him, and Psalm 32 describes the relief of acknowledging sin: I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid (Psalm 32:5). The tax collector in Luke 18:13 beats his breast and asks mercy, and goes home justified. The prodigal son returns to his father with a prepared confession (Luke 15:18-21). These stories show that the way to God is open to those who repent.
Traditions that stress the role of the priest do not deny these passages. They add the teaching that Christ established a means of reconciliation within the church. The differences come out in the question: what should a person do when the ordinary means are not available, as when a person is far from a church, in prison, in a time of crisis or not yet part of any church?
Step-by-step explanation
Step 1: The elements of repentance
All the traditions describe repentance in similar terms. First, an honest recognition of the wrong, naming it without excuse. Second, sorrow, not merely at consequences but at the harm done to God and others. Third, a resolve to change, with specific steps. Fourth, a request for forgiveness. Fifth, amends where possible: an apology, restitution or repair. Jesus says that if you remember that your brother has something against you, you should first be reconciled with him (Matthew 5:23-24). Zacchaeus promises to restore fourfold what he took by fraud (Luke 19:8).
A simple prayer of confession might name the specific wrong, say that it was wrong, ask for mercy in the name of Christ, ask for strength to change and give thanks for forgiveness. Psalm 51 is a model.
Step 2: What each tradition says about the absence of a minister
Protestants of most kinds teach that forgiveness is received by faith in Christ, and that confession to God is sufficient. First John 1:9 is often cited. Lutherans value the word of absolution when available but do not say that forgiveness is withheld in its absence. Reformed and free-church Christians teach that the believer has direct access to God.
The Catholic Church teaches that sacramental confession is the ordinary way for the forgiveness of grave sins. The Catechism also teaches that perfect contrition, arising from love of God, obtains forgiveness of sins even before sacramental confession, provided it includes the firm resolution to confess as soon as possible. Without this, grave sins remain to be confessed to a priest. The Orthodox teach that God’s mercy is not bound, and that repentance is always possible, but that the normal path is confession with a priest, and that a person without access should keep repenting and seek a priest when possible. A person is to follow the teaching of his or her own tradition.
Step 3: Making amends
Repentance is not complete without attention to those wronged. This may mean an apology, a repayment, a correction of a lie or an offer of help. It must be done with care. Some amends can cause further harm, such as confessing an affair to a third party without thought. A wise counselor may help judge what is helpful and what is not.
Where the wronged person has died or cannot be found, the tradition suggests acts of charity or prayer in their memory. Where serious wrongdoing is involved, such as a crime or abuse, amends may include accountability to authorities. Private confession to God does not remove legal or civic duties.
Step 4: Confessing to a trusted person
James 5:16 encourages believers to confess to one another. A person who confesses to a friend, a mentor or a pastor of another tradition finds counsel and support. Choose with care. The person should be mature, discreet, kind and not under a pressure that would make them judge or gossip. They should not be someone who depends on you or whom you could harm by the disclosure.
A lay friend, unlike a priest, is not bound by a sacramental seal, and in some places a professional counselor, physician or clergy member has legal protections that a friend does not. If the matter involves abuse of a child or a danger to someone, the friend may have to act, and you should know that before speaking. Counsel can be given, but only God forgives sin in the Protestant view, and only God through the church’s ministers in the Catholic and Orthodox views.
- What specifically have I done or failed to do?
- Whom did it harm, and what could repair it?
- Am I sorry for the harm, or only for being caught?
- What does my tradition teach about what I should do now?
- Who is a wise person I could talk to?
- Is there a legal or civic duty that I must also meet?
Examples
A prayer of confession
A man writes down a lie he told his employer, prays Psalm 51, tells God he is sorry, asks for forgiveness and decides to correct the record the next day. (A constructed example.)
Choosing a confidant
A woman who is ashamed of a long-held resentment speaks to a mature friend from her old church who has kept confidences. The friend listens, prays and suggests she write a letter of reconciliation. (A constructed example.)
A limit
A man begins to tell a friend about harm he has done to a child. The friend tells him gently that he must speak to the proper authorities, and offers to go with him. (A constructed example. Some matters require action beyond private confession.)
Different perspectives
The Protestant view
Protestants hold that repentance and faith bring forgiveness directly from God through Christ, as in 1 John 1:9. A minister may help, but forgiveness does not depend on one. Mutual confession is encouraged for the sake of counsel and accountability.
The Catholic view
The Church teaches that perfect contrition with the intention of sacramental confession obtains forgiveness in emergencies or when a priest is not accessible, and that the faithful should seek the sacrament as soon as possible.
The Orthodox view
Orthodox teaching holds that God receives the repentant at any time and that confession belongs to the life of the church. A person without access to a priest is urged to continue in repentance, prayer and amends, and to seek confession when possible.
The legal and professional view
Legal systems differ on confidentiality. Clergy, physicians, lawyers and counselors often have defined protections and duties, while ordinary friends do not. People who disclose serious harm to others should know that the listener may have to act.
Why it matters
Repentance cannot wait until a person has joined a church or found a minister. The traditions agree on its essential elements and differ on what completes it. A student should know both, so as to repent honestly now and to make a choice about further steps in light of the tradition he or she holds or is studying.
Common misunderstandings
Misunderstanding: If I do not confess to a priest, nothing is forgiven.
Correction: Protestants deny this. The Catholic and Orthodox traditions say that sacramental confession is the ordinary path but teach that God’s mercy is not bound. Catholics, for example, teach that perfect contrition with the intention to confess obtains forgiveness.
Misunderstanding: Confession to God removes my duty to make amends.
Correction: All traditions teach that repentance includes making right what can be made right, and that legal or civic duties remain.
Misunderstanding: Any friend can hear any confession safely.
Correction: A friend is not bound by a seal and may have duties to act. Choose with care and know the limits.
Knowledge check
What are the elements of genuine repentance?
Honest recognition of the wrong, sorrow for the harm done to God and others, a resolve to change, a request for forgiveness and amends where possible. All the traditions describe repentance in these terms. Zacchaeus in Luke 19:8 and the instruction in Matthew 5:23-24 illustrate the amends.
What does the Catholic Church teach about perfect contrition?
That sorrow arising from love of God above all obtains forgiveness of sins even before sacramental confession, provided it includes the firm resolution to confess as soon as possible. Grave sins still need to be confessed to a priest when possible.
What are the limits of confessing to a friend?
A friend is not bound by a sacramental seal and can only give counsel and prayer. In some places there are legal duties to report abuse or danger. The friend should be mature and discreet. Forgiveness is God’s, given through the church’s ministers in Catholic and Orthodox teaching.
Does confession to God end the duty to make amends?
No. All the traditions teach that repentance includes restitution and reconciliation where possible, and private confession does not remove legal or civic duties. Amends should be made with care to avoid further harm, and a wise counselor can help.
Think it through
- What keeps you from repenting specifically and not just generally?
- Would you find it harder to confess to God or to a person?
- How do you think about the difference between forgiveness and the repair of harm?
Independent assignment
A written repentance
In your notebook, write 300 to 450 words. Choose one real wrong, large or small, that you can still address. Write a prayer of confession in your own words, naming it plainly. Then list the steps of amends you could take, and the person you would consult. If there are legal or serious aspects, state who you would speak to. Keep the writing private, and consider destroying it after you have acted.
Further study
- Catholic Church, Catechism of the Catholic Church Read the sections on contrition and on perfect contrition.
- Martin Luther, The Small Catechism Read the short section on confession.
- Augustine of Hippo, Confessions A model of confession addressed to God.
- Benedicta Ward, trans., The Sayings of the Desert Fathers: The Alphabetical Collection Read sayings on repentance and beginning again.
- Psalm 51 A prayer of repentance.
- Psalm 32 The relief of acknowledging sin.
- Luke 15:18 I will arise and go to my father.
- Luke 19:8 Zacchaeus makes restitution.