Program / Course 3: The Rule of Life / Lesson 6.2
What you will learn
- Explain the biblical and traditional basis for withdrawing for a time to pray.
- Plan a one-day retreat with a simple schedule.
- Describe how a weekend or longer retreat differs and what extra preparation it needs.
- Identify safety measures and the importance of returning to ordinary duties.
The big idea
A retreat is a planned withdrawal from ordinary routine for a day or more in order to pray, read and rest. Jesus invited his disciples to come apart and rest awhile. Christians have kept days of retreat, weekend retreats and longer ones for centuries, from monastery guesthouses to the thirty-day Ignatian Exercises. A good retreat is simple, safe and short enough to be finished. Its purpose is not escape but renewal for the duties to which the person then returns.
Key terms
- Retreat
- A period of withdrawal from ordinary activities for prayer, reflection and rest.
- Guesthouse
- A part of a monastery set aside to receive visitors, who may stay for a few days.
- Directed retreat
- A retreat in which a trained guide meets the retreatant daily to listen and suggest prayer.
- Spiritual Exercises
- The retreat program of Ignatius of Loyola, traditionally made over thirty days, with shorter versions.
- Re-entry
- The return from retreat to ordinary life, which needs planning so that the benefits are not lost.
- Sabbatical
- A longer rest from regular work, taken for study or renewal.
Background
The Gospels show Jesus withdrawing again and again. After the apostles returned from their mission, he said, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while (Mark 6:31). The crowds followed him, and he taught them anyway, which is a reminder that retreat is not always permitted by circumstances. Moses spent forty days on Sinai, Elijah traveled to Horeb, and Paul went into Arabia after his conversion (Galatians 1:17).
In Christian history the practice of retreat developed in monasteries, which welcomed guests as Benedict’s Rule asks (chapter 53). Retreats of eight days or thirty days, based on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius, became common after the sixteenth century in Catholic life. Protestants have held days of prayer and conferences, and today many denominations run retreat centers. Orthodox pilgrims visit monasteries for a few days of prayer and services.
Step-by-step explanation
Step 1: A day of retreat
A day is the easiest way to begin. Choose a quiet place, such as a church, a park, a library or a retreat center, or a room at home with the phone off. Tell your family or a friend where you will be and when you will return. Bring a Bible, a notebook, water and food.
A simple schedule might be: begin with a psalm and a few minutes of silence; read a Gospel passage slowly; walk outdoors for thirty minutes; eat a simple lunch in silence; write in the notebook for half an hour; rest or nap; read again in the afternoon; pray for others by name; close with the Lord’s Prayer and a note of one decision. Keep the day flexible. Rest counts.
Step 2: A weekend
A weekend retreat from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon allows more depth. Many monasteries and retreat centers offer rooms for a modest fee and may provide meals and a chapel where the community prays. It is often wise to go to a place with others around, even if you keep silence yourself. This helps with safety and gives access to worship.
The schedule can repeat the pattern of a day with more space: more time for the hours of prayer, a longer period of reading in one book, a conversation with a guide if offered. Do not try to do too much. The best retreats often feel too empty at first and then begin to fill.
Step 3: A longer retreat
Retreats of a week or more, or the thirty-day Ignatian Exercises, are serious undertakings. They are normally made with a trained director who meets the retreatant daily, and they are not suited to everyone. Those with a history of depression, trauma or mental illness should consult a doctor or counselor beforehand and should choose a directed retreat with qualified guides.
For any retreat of more than a few days, plan the practical details: leave for work or family duties, arrange care for dependents, bring needed medications, tell someone the dates and the location, and decide how contact can be made in an emergency. A longer silence needs a plan to stop if things go badly.
Step 4: Safety and return
Retreat is not a test of endurance. Do not fast severely, forgo sleep or isolate yourself in an unsafe place. Choose a location where help is near. If you are going alone to a remote place, tell someone where you are. If you are prone to strong emotional swings, take a trusted person’s number.
Plan the return. Before leaving write down the resolutions you want to keep, in small form: one change to the rule, one conversation to have, one habit to begin. On return, expect to feel tired or flat. Resume duties gently and keep one retreat practice for the week after. The retreat serves the life it interrupts.
- What would I most want from a day set apart?
- Whom do I need to tell, and what duties must I arrange for?
- Would I prefer to be alone or in a place with others praying?
- What would I do if I felt distressed in the middle of the retreat?
- What is one change I would hope to carry back?
- What stops me from taking a day, and is it a real obstacle?
Examples
A day at home
A father arranges for his wife to take the children on a Saturday. He turns off his phone, prays in the morning, reads Luke 15 slowly, walks for an hour, writes in his notebook and has a quiet meal. By evening he has decided to apologize to his brother. (A constructed example.)
A monastery weekend
A woman books two nights at a monastery guesthouse. She joins the community for Vespers and Compline, reads in her room and walks in the grounds. On Sunday she speaks briefly with the guest master about a question. (A constructed example.)
A retreat that was too much
A man attempts a week of silence in a cabin with no phone and little food. After three days he feels unwell and anxious. He drives to a nearby town, calls a friend, and ends the retreat. A shorter one the next year goes better. (A constructed example.)
Different perspectives
The Catholic view
Catholics value annual retreats, especially clergy and religious, and many parishes offer weekend retreats. Ignatian retreats are made in many forms, from a few days to thirty days, usually with a director.
The Orthodox view
Orthodox Christians go on pilgrimage to monasteries and take part in services there, often for a few days. They are advised to go with a blessing from their priest and to join the community’s prayer.
The Protestant view
Protestants hold conferences, prayer weekends and quiet days, especially in Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist and evangelical communities. Reformed traditions have often stressed ordinary callings over withdrawal, and many see retreats as optional helps.
The practical and clinical view
Retreat leaders and clinicians advise gradual preparation, safe location, a person who knows the plan and medical advice for those with relevant conditions. They remind retreatants that a retreat is not therapy and should not replace it.
Why it matters
Daily and weekly practices need an occasional longer pause to stay honest. A retreat gives space to review the rule, to rest and to listen. Planned well, it is safe and fruitful. Planned badly, it can be exhausting or harmful. The steps here keep it modest.
Common misunderstandings
Misunderstanding: A retreat has to be silent and alone.
Correction: Many are in groups, with talks and shared meals. Silence and solitude are options, not requirements.
Misunderstanding: A longer retreat is always more spiritual.
Correction: Length is not a measure. A well-planned day can serve better than a week poorly prepared.
Misunderstanding: A retreat is an escape from duties.
Correction: It is a pause to renew the person for duties. It should be arranged so that dependents are cared for.
Knowledge check
What does Mark 6:31 show about retreat?
Jesus invited the apostles to come apart to a desert place and rest awhile after their mission. It shows that withdrawal for rest and prayer is part of the pattern of Jesus’ ministry. The following verses show the crowds still came, so retreat is not always possible.
Outline a simple one-day retreat.
Begin with a psalm and silence, read a Gospel passage slowly, walk, eat a simple lunch in silence, write in a notebook, rest, read again, pray for others by name and close with the Lord’s Prayer and one decision. Tell someone where you are and keep the plan flexible.
What additional precautions does a longer retreat need?
Arrangement of work and family duties, care for dependents, medications, a person who knows the dates and place, an emergency contact plan and, ideally, a trained director. Those with depression, trauma or mental illness should consult a doctor or counselor beforehand.
Why plan the return from a retreat?
Because people often feel tired or flat when they return, and the benefits can fade. Writing down small resolutions, resuming duties gently and keeping one retreat practice during the following week helps carry the retreat into ordinary life.
Think it through
- What would you want to bring back from a retreat?
- What do you think of the idea that a retreat serves the life it interrupts?
- Who could help you plan a first day?
Independent assignment
Plan a retreat day
In your notebook, write 300 to 450 words. Choose a date within the next two months. Write an hour-by-hour schedule for a day of retreat, the place you will go, the people you will tell, and the duties you will arrange for. Add the safety steps you will take. If you carry out the retreat, write a short report afterward. Do not post it.
Further study
- Benedict of Nursia, The Rule of St. Benedict Read chapter 53 on the reception of guests.
- Athanasius of Alexandria, Life of St. Anthony Read of Anthony’s withdrawals and returns.
- Augustine of Hippo, Confessions Read for an example of retreat and conversion.
- Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God Read for the idea that the kitchen can be a retreat.
- Mark 6:31 Come apart and rest awhile.
- Galatians 1:17 Paul in Arabia.
- Exodus 24:18 Moses on the mountain.