Program / Course 3: The Rule of Life / Lesson 7.5
What you will learn
- Describe what to look at in a review of a rule at fifteen days, thirty days, ninety days and one year.
- Use a record of the rule honestly, including failures.
- Decide whether to keep, shorten, extend or change a practice.
- Recognize signs that a rule is harming and not helping.
The big idea
A rule that is never reviewed drifts into empty habit, pride or collapse. The traditions build review into the rule: an abbot adjusts the rule for the weak, a director asks how the prayer is going, a Methodist class asks about the week. A student should keep a short daily record, review at fifteen and thirty days, again at ninety days and then yearly. The review asks what happened, what it did to love of God and neighbor, and what to change. The rule is a servant of that love and may be revised.
Key terms
- Review
- A planned, honest look at how a rule has been kept and what it has done.
- Record
- A short daily note of what was done, skipped and noticed, kept to make the review accurate.
- Revision
- A deliberate change to the rule, made after review.
- Fruit
- In Scripture, the visible result of a life, such as love, joy and peace (Galatians 5:22-23). It is used here as the test of a rule.
- Discretion
- The ability to judge what suits a particular person and time. It is the virtue Benedict names as the mother of virtues.
- Minimum rule
- The floor of a rule, kept on the worst day.
Background
Jesus says that a tree is known by its fruit (Matthew 7:16-20), and Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit as love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). This is the test of a rule. The question is not how many hours of prayer were kept but whether the person is becoming more loving, more patient and more honest. A rule that produces pride, anxiety or neglect of others has failed whatever its impressive length.
The monastic rules allow for adjustment. Benedict tells the abbot to consider the weakness of the sick, the old and the young, and he ends his Rule by calling it a small beginning (chapter 73). The desert sayings repeat the advice to begin again after failure. Methodists in the eighteenth century gave account weekly in their classes. Ignatius advised changing the length of prayer in response to what the exercitant found. The common thread is that review is part of the rule itself.
Step-by-step explanation
Step 1: The record
Review depends on a record. Keep a small notebook or sheet. Each day write two or three lines: what you did, what you skipped, how you felt, what you noticed. Be honest. A record that lists only successes is useless. Write the failures without drama. A week of missed days is information.
At the end of each week, put a mark beside the practices kept and the ones missed. The pattern will show which parts of the rule are realistic. Do not trust memory. Memory flatters or condemns.
Step 2: Fifteen and thirty days
At fifteen days, do a short check. Which practices are being kept? Which are being missed, and why? Is any part causing harm to sleep, work or family? Make small adjustments if needed, such as moving a time or shortening a reading. Do not rewrite the whole rule.
At thirty days, do a fuller review. Reread the record. Ask: What have I kept? What have I dropped? What did the rule do to my patience, my honesty, my attention to others? Where was I proud, anxious or complacent? Where did the rule support love? Share the review with the person you chose for accountability. Wait three days, reread it and mark every place where you were vague or flattering to yourself.
Step 3: Ninety days and one year
At ninety days, ask about habits. Practices that have lasted three months are likely to last, and may deserve more time. Practices that have never taken root may not suit the person or the season. Consider whether to add one practice, such as a psalm at midday or a weekly act of service, but add only one at a time.
At one year, review the whole. Check the rule against the seasons that have passed: the church year, the changes at work and home, illness, grief and joy. Ask what the rule has taught. Rewrite it for the year ahead. Choose a date for the next annual review, for instance the start of Advent or the new year. Update the floor and the ceiling.
Step 4: Signs of harm and what to change
Some signs show that a rule is harming: chronic loss of sleep, strained relationships, a growing sense of guilt or scrupulosity, pride in one’s own strictness, contempt for others, anxiety that increases, neglect of work or family, or a physical effect from fasting. If these appear, shorten or pause the rule, speak to a trusted person and, where symptoms are medical, to a physician. Pausing a harmful practice is wisdom and not failure.
Signs of health are quieter: more patience, more gratitude, a readiness to apologize, attention to others and a steadier return to prayer after failure. The rule may then be extended gently. The aim is always to serve love of God and neighbor, as Jesus teaches in Matthew 22:37-40.
- What did I actually do over the last month, according to the record?
- Which practices have become habits, and which were never kept?
- What has the rule done to my patience and my honesty?
- Where was I vague or flattering to myself?
- What would I change if I trusted the record?
- When is my next review, and who will I tell?
Examples
A thirty-day review
A man finds that he kept his evening prayer on twenty-six days but missed his morning reading on twenty-one, usually because he rose late. He moves the reading to the evening and keeps the morning prayer short. He tells his friend, who asks whether he has been less irritable at work. He thinks he has. (A constructed example.)
A harmful rule
A woman who added a daily two-hour prayer and a weekly fast finds that she sleeps badly and snaps at her children. Her pastor suggests that she cut the rule to fifteen minutes and stop the fast. She resumes sleeping, and later adds a longer Sunday reading. (A constructed example.)
An annual review
At the start of Advent, a couple review the year’s rule together. They keep the evening psalm, drop the monthly fast and add a weekly meal with a neighbor. (A constructed example.)
Different perspectives
The Benedictine and Catholic view
The Rule expects the abbot to adjust it to persons, and religious communities review their rules and constitutions. Spiritual directors ask regularly how prayer is going. Catholic teaching values both constancy and prudent adaptation.
The Orthodox view
The spiritual father adjusts a person’s prayer rule according to the circumstances, increasing or reducing it. Orthodox teachers warn against taking on more than can be kept faithfully.
The Protestant view
Protestants emphasize that no rule binds the conscience beyond Scripture, so rules are held freely. The Methodist class and the Puritan diary were disciplined forms of review. Many Protestants use a yearly rhythm such as the start of the year to take stock.
The behavioral view
Researchers on habits note that small, specific, regularly tracked practices are more likely to last, that adding one change at a time works better than many, and that missed days are normal. These findings fit the traditions’ counsel, though they come from a different kind of study.
Why it matters
A rule is meant to last a life, and a life changes. Review keeps a rule honest, adjusts it for illness, family and seasons, and protects against the two ways rules fail: quitting at the first missed day and grimly continuing a rule that does harm. It also ties together everything in this course: the record, the accountability, the floor and ceiling, the honest account of what the rule cannot give.
Common misunderstandings
Misunderstanding: Revising a rule means failure.
Correction: Benedict calls his Rule a small beginning and tells the abbot to adjust. Review and change are part of a living rule.
Misunderstanding: A good rule never changes.
Correction: Life changes, and a rule should fit the person’s duties and seasons. The aim stays the same while the details change.
Misunderstanding: If I missed days, the review will only condemn me.
Correction: The record is for information. The tradition counsels beginning again without despair.
Knowledge check
What should a daily record contain?
Two or three lines: what was done, what was skipped, how the person felt and what was noticed. It should be honest, including failures, because memory flatters or condemns. A weekly mark beside practices kept and missed shows the pattern of what is realistic.
What questions belong in the thirty-day review?
What was kept and what dropped, what the rule did to patience, honesty and attention to others, where the person was proud, anxious or complacent, and where the rule supported love. Share it with the accountable person, wait three days, then reread and mark vague or flattering spots.
What are signs that a rule is harming?
Chronic loss of sleep, strained relationships, growing guilt or scrupulosity, pride in strictness, contempt for others, increasing anxiety, neglect of work or family, or physical effects from fasting. The remedy is to shorten or pause the rule and speak to a trusted person or physician.
What should happen at ninety days and at one year?
At ninety days, consider which practices have become habits and whether to add one more, only one at a time. At one year, review the whole rule against the seasons that passed, rewrite it for the next year, update the floor and ceiling and set the date of the next annual review.
Think it through
- What would you want your record to show about your year?
- What fruit would tell you the rule is good?
- Which part of your rule would you be glad to give up if it were harming you?
Independent assignment
A review of the rule
In your notebook, write 400 to 600 words after your thirty days. Reread your record. Summarize what you kept and what you missed, what the rule did to your patience, honesty and attention to others, and where you were proud or anxious. Propose three changes. Share the review with your chosen person if you have one. Wait three days, reread and mark every vague or flattering place. Set dates for the ninety-day and one-year reviews. Do not post it.
Further study
- Benedict of Nursia, The Rule of St. Benedict Read chapter 73 and the chapters on adjusting the rule for the weak.
- Benedicta Ward, trans., The Sayings of the Desert Fathers: The Alphabetical Collection Read sayings on beginning again.
- John Cassian, The Conferences Read the conference on discretion.
- John Wesley, Sermons on Several Occasions Read for Wesley’s methodical review of life.
- Galatians 5:22 The fruit of the Spirit.
- Matthew 7:16 You will know them by their fruits.
- Matthew 22:37 The great commandment.